To put it simply, its exam week. It should not be an over-stressing week because it can decrease our performance. So long story short, I still have this kind of mentality from past examination, determination teeth exam. I was so stressed that when I'm studying, thinking of what if I'm failing on second chance (SP). Even though I pass it with minimal grade (I will not pass if I fail on 1 more question), this kind of mindset to fail just too much on my head. Besides that, the radiology lecture got me so upset, in first-class, they straight told us to evaluation some pictures, like what? How can we say this has bad contrast or something if u haven't given us some explanation or some example? Why we pay so much for nothing. I'm so upset. I thought that on this term something will gonna change, a lil bit change, yea I'm glad it's online so they can effort something, what if it's offline, omg it's gonna a total mess like the first term!
This term is not really stressful for me because it's all work from home so I think I can manage things, and have more 'me time'. But yea it's actually a bit shock me with this amount of time, 1 block within 1 month, like ?!
So this kind of anxious and things start from when I apply a bunch of scholarships, but yeah forget it. I have >3,6 score with many certificates, but I got nothing. But it turns out there's a bunch of 4,0 IPK, oh wow, that got no scholarship too. Hmm, that makes my self-esteem become lower too.
I remember the last block I got A but on nearly 80 when my friend got 90. It's not really a problem. But on this term, I got some trauma or something lmao. I worked so hard on radiology to understand it, I read Eric's book, which helps me a lot. Ah but I miss 1/4 question, oh that upset me so badly, but I hope I must not remedies.
I have my examination on last Monday. I thought I was so ready 90%. Oh god, I forget to read Prof slides because I thought the content it's just the same as with the local lecture, to keep in mind they told us that there'll be only a 10% question (it means only 2 Prof quest from 20 quests). Of course, it shocks me because there are about 5 quests that I forget because it's too specific. I thought I study well and do many questions. But on exam day... I feel like I have not seen beyond the theory. Boom.
Fortunately, there's remedy on next week, so I should keep my fire! there's a chance, please get up!